a bit of a life update…

January 10, 2014

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This post was very hard for me to write. I thought about it for a couple of weeks now, debating whether to even share this much or not. But here we are because I want to share what’s been on my mind…

I know that if you read blogs often, the “lifestyle” seems like a lot of beautiful days, items provided gratis and all around a life being lived through rose colored glasses.

A lot of my life is pretty amazing. I’ve been given blessings that I don’t count often enough. But there’s also a lot of stuff that I fight with on a daily basis. As I’ve alluded to before in a post or two, I’ve been battling several health issues. I have had chronic headaches since 2001, I need to have surgery in a couple of months to rectify my sinus issues, I was just recently told I have cysts on one of my ovaries and for the last three years I’ve been battling thyroid disease. The latter has significantly affected my every day for the last two years.

I have talked about it briefly here but today I went in to have a procedure re-done to eliminate my thyroid. I was given radioactive iodine last year and sadly I learned in December, the procedure didn’t work. So round two was today and to say there’s been fear and anxiety coursing through my blood would be an understatement.

I was debating in writing this post because sometimes it is simple to perceive that life is easier when you don’t open up about certain things. And on this blog I am positive 99% of the time because that is my general disposition. Life is meant to be lived and I generally try to see the good in people, experiences and all the stellar opportunities I’ve been given. Plus, I always wanted this blog to be a place that had an uplifting attitude, that didn’t take life too seriously and that covered things that made life a little more fun, stylish or sarcastic.

Because of the aforementioned health battles I often get into moods where I feel sorry for myself, feel not good enough, feel as though there are so many things I could do better in life, get upset about the weight I’ve gained due to my underperforming thyroid or get competitive or negative.

…But when I take a step back (and several deep breaths), I can so clearly see all that I have been given. And it’s pretty spectacular. The past few weeks I’ve felt that more than ever because of my support system. I learned in December that sometimes it’s ok to ask for help, for prayers, for support. As a result of today’s procedure I have to be quarantined for three days due to the radioactivity I received. The procedure is scary and lonely. My friend Mindy made me dinner to get me through a night. My college girlfriends have sent me handwritten notes with photos of favorite memories and a sequence of other surprises throughout the last few weeks. My best friend’s mom had her third grade class share drawings and notes of prayers and uplifting words (that had tears streaming down my face). My family has provided unending support. My team at work was understanding and encouraging for me to see this procedure through. Some of my New York girlfriends gave me a care package of pressed juices, a paint by number, mad libs and tea to get me through quarantine. Others sent flowers. Others sent iTunes gift cards. I could go on…and it’s not the things people but provided but the meaningful messages and thoughtfulness behind them that made each so powerful, so uplifting. Each had me thinking “how incredibly lucky am I?” Despite the health struggles and ongoing battles that I face, I have a support system that is absolutely, utterly, 100% priceless.

So this weekend, while sequestered, instead of feeling sorry for myself or getting upset at the various things in life that could be better…I’m going to feel grateful for all the things that are pretty perfect in my life (I love this saying). And while we’re on the topic of emotional, divulging subjects…I’d just like to say “thank you” to all of you who have ever stopped by my little corner of the internet. Your readership, comments, encouragement, support…they all get me by on a daily basis and bring me so many smiles. I’ll be back to regular programming on Monday but for today I thought I’d get real, get honest and I thank you for reading and understanding!

xx,

Meghan
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11 comments on “a bit of a life update…”

  1. Meghan, I love this post. It’s beautiful. I applaud you for deciding to share and I can relate to it so much. I think that’s the danger of the world we’ve built online; it’s so easy to think that everyone around you has beautiful, perfect lives. And that can get you down if you try and make your reality match up to that picture perfect ideal. It’s wonderful that you have such a great support system, but I’ll send some happy thoughts your way anyway. Stay positive!

  2. I absolutely wish you the most successful procedure and health for 2014. You’re so strong to write this post and to share what you’re going through.

    I also will get surgery this month to repair a tear in my inner ear that causes me daily balance issues, some days so bad I cannot walk on my own. That feeling of debilitation is temporary, where as a positive attitude will last forever!

    Good luck on your weekend, I hope you relax and sleep and Netflix 🙂 sending all my best and healthy wishes to you! xx

    Lauren

  3. I agree with the being scared to share anything that isn’t positive. I have a huge fear of being a negative Nancy. However, once I had a friend tell me that you should share all of your life with your friends – the good and the bad. That is what makes a good friendship. He said that he can tell I keep things inside and that sometimes sharing the bad with the good stengthens a friendship…. I still am not great at sharing the hard times or learning to lean on others but I am making improvements.

    Lately I have been having some of the not great moments. I don’t know if this helps you but it has helped me lately… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elana-miller-md/mindfulness-practice_b_4377557.html
    My saying has become… Maybe yes, maybe no. In a week, things could be better, the same, or not as great. But I know that the following week has just the same possibilities.

    I hope your procedure is successful and that you heal quickly!

  4. God only gives you what you can handle and I know you’ve had your fair share, but we love you and you have great friends. You will get through this and hopefully it will be better in the long run. Call me if you are bored this weekend. I can tell you all about how HMS is literally falling apart! Love you so much!

  5. Love you lady! I’m impressed and inspired by the courage you have, which it takes, to open up like you have above. You’re so much stronger than you think, and I admire you for always keeping your head up and positive in the face of so many life struggles. Always here for you! Xoxo

  6. Thinking of you this weekend, lovely! I hope these three days prove to be relaxing and refreshing for you. I think these posts are wonderful to write – to see/hear your feelings that can be hard to write is often a therapy we all need. You have so much support and love! xo

  7. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and this attitude is somethign that more people should adopt in their everyday lives to live their days filled with hope, happiness and always love. Thinking about you girl and know by this post that you are a rockstar. YOU GOT THIS! much love. xoxo Kim eatsleepwear.com

  8. I’s so refreshing to hear someone open up and reveal a deeper not so ‘polished, everything is great, look at me in my awesome clothes’ kinda way. I applaud you and whilst I too struggle with various issues, like we all do – I try to practice gratitude, like you mentioned as often as possible.

    http://www.thelifescout.com/

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