Beginning Again

January 13, 2020

Meghan Donovan I Central Park

For some reason starting this year felt different. So much so that the words for this post came to me all at once the other evening as I headed to bed. I took my Notes app out and put down everything coming to me.

Maybe the start of the year felt different because I was trying to be gentler to myself? Or because I was more conscious lately of time moving so quickly? Maybe it was because my anxiety has sadly been in over drive lately?

But through the start of this year I’ve just had this intuitive feeling saying Slow and Steady. One step at a time.

I spend my days too often ping-ponging between things. A page loading too slowly? What other tab has something I can accomplish in it? This impatience of mine is something that infuriates me often. And it’s entirely my own doing. It’s not how I like to work. This year I want to try and be more present with my tasks. More intentional with my time.

In 2020 so far…

I started by eating healthier and meal planning – not by going on a diet or setting restrictions for myself.

I started by asking my acupuncturist for small steps she thought I could be making for improving my daily being.

I started with closet clean outs to feel less “heavy” in my own home.

I started easing back into workouts via motivating myself with the reminder that I am better at working/focusing/being when I spend time dispensing energy physically.

I started with more meditation. I know myself well enough to know that deep breaths are my everything when things feel overwhelming.

I started with the recognition that just because it’s the new year, doesn’t mean we have to do it all. All at once.

I started by slowly adding back in the good habits I’d ignored during the busy holiday season.

I started with a lot of joy and grace towards others. I feel better when I’m this version of myself but my anxiety can rob me of it on certain days.

I started by doing the things on my to do list I’ve been putting off.

I started by tidying and organizing.

I started with lots of plans with friends.

I started with plans and lists and the realization that I don’t have to do it all immediately. That, for most items, I have 365 days to do it all.

I started by putting faith in myself every day – whatever I had that day – I gave it.

I started by recommitting to myself and what I really want out of my life and my work.

I started taking ownership over the things I want to change and the things I need to solve.

. . .

This year I want to be brave and nimble and joyful and kind. I want to be extra mindful to what I gift my attention to.

p.s. a look back on my 2019 and lots of cozy things to love.

[Image – outtake from this post]

comments +

  1. Sabrina says:

    Welcome back. I’m certainly excited to read your work again.
    Great opening 2020 post

  2. Melanie says:

    I love this. There is so much pressure at the beginning of the year to do it all, be it all, etc. that I think we can all get swept up in. I like the idea of taking some time to sit back and take care of ourselves the ways we know we need to: eating healthfully, moving our bodies, removing things that stress us out. And giving ourselves grace when everything doesn’t change all at once.

  3. megan says:

    I really, really appreciate these words – slow and steady, one day at a time. Sending you love, deep breaths, and gratitude for all you share with your readers and the world <3

  4. Emily says:

    You actually have 366 days to do it all this year! ;)Love the sentiment, I’m trying to remember the same thing myself.

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