The other week I tweeted out how I wish women would stop apologizing so much for things that don’t require a “sorry” and wanted to address here, too. For example, I often have women saying “sorry” when they walk past me in the grocery store aisle. Or when they need to get past me to their locker at Soulcycle. I feel like recently all day I hear women saying “sorry” when all that’s really needed is a simple “excuse me.”
A lot of my Twitter followers chimed in on the tweet once I hit “send” and it seems I’m not alone in my sentiments! One girl even said her boss politely called her out for saying it in a meeting when it wasn’t necessary.
Once I realized how often it felt like I was hearing it, I truly started hearing it all day, wherever I went and it made me think about all the times in our history women have been made to feel like we need to apologize. But what happened to the simple “excuse me”?
When you say “sorry” for things that don’t require it, it can instantly undermine your stance – no matter the scenario. And it feels like it has become this epidemic of a bad habit reflux to a lot of people.
Of course, plenty of scenarios require a “sorry.” If I bump you with my bag on the subway you better believe there is a “sorry” flying out of my mouth but I think we should all work on saying “sorry” less as a verbal tic of sorts…who is with me?
In other news, I’m off to California this morning for a quick trip! A dear friend is getting married and I’m also soaking up some time with all my CA besties. I can’t wait!
Shop the Post:
Shirt (obsessed! Also love this one) // Jeans (go-to ankle jeans of mine) // Shoes // Bag // Sunglasses
p.s. the sweatshirt I can’t stop wearing and ways to update your mid-summer wardrobe.
I am trying to learn how to be better with saying sorry– I say it all the time! Last night I was at the store and I didn’t know if it was chip or slide for the card so I slide and the lady scolded me and said it was chip so of course I said sorry but the I caught myself and said actually I’m not. Lady thought I was crazy, and probably a bit rude, but why was I saying sorry when I honestly had nothing to be sorry for.
It’s hard to get over this phrase but I am slowly learning that I do not have to be ‘sorry’ for (most) things!
It happens to the best of us! But now that you’re aware it’s great you’re realizing mostly it is unnecessary!
I am definitely guilty of saying “sorry” when it isn’t necessary. Funny how you mentioned someone got called out by their boss for it, the same thing happened to me during my internship last year!
Kendal // Life With Kendal
Now that you’re aware you’ll be more likely to minimize it!
There is a big difference between being polite and undermining our own presence in the world, and this post is a great example with the difference between excuse me or pardon me, and I’m sorry. I’m admittedly a bit old school about manners, but I also see no reason women (mostly women) should reflexively apologize (Actually, it’s not a bad idea to take a look at all of our reflexive behaviors and verbal tics.)
On a totally unrelated note, those jeans look amazing on you! (I’m also a big fan of genuine and unsolicited compliments.)
HEAR HEAR regarding politeness! And thank you for the kind words 🙂
I couldn’t agree with this more! I’ve been actively working to stop saying it when it’s not called for. It’s such a hard habit to break, but it’s much needed. Have a great time in California!
Hopefully this doesn’t come across as too nitpicky but if you consider the etymology “excuse me” and “pardon me” are really just old fashioned ways to say sorry for possibly inconveniencing or interrupting someone. So you are still saying sorry. Perhaps we could use a friendly “do you mind?” or “Can I get by?” to avoid the whole issue? 🙂
Not sure I agree! I feel as though “excuse me” or “pardon me” are asking permission more so apologizing? But definitely hear you that everything is open to interpretation!
“Sorry” is definitely a pet peeve of mine. (Esp when used so often by some it doesn’t seem sincere anymore) Having said that, I occasionally catch myself, but usually I simply use the word “pardon”. My emphasis on how I pronounce it, whether as a question or in place of excuse me, seems to work in most situations. It is a habit I picked up while living in England and has always seemed to me a polite replacement.
Be kind, be polite, but Be Confident!
Love this approach! I often say “pardon” from living in London as well! Love you, Nanc! <3
Great post and reminder!