Maybe it’s been all the snow, maybe it’s been the winter blues, maybe it’s been the ongoing pandemic, maybe it’s been the lack of social plans…but I’ve been in a slump.
I started the year slowly and intentionally and then got super busy fast and then things calmed and the days felt so long and gray and then things got overwhelming again and I was having the hardest time focusing. And as I’ve continued to be extra cautious with how I spend my time (read: mostly home alone or outside only for walks for friends or essential errands), the loneliness and lack of social plants is eating away at me. I’m realizing again how much the extrovert part of my ambivert personality misses social plans and being out and about and spontaneous and spending quality, un-anxious time with loved ones.
I’ve felt super unmotivated the last few weeks. (And should note I am battling a bit of a setback in my thyroid disease – working on dosages with my doctor and analyzing several rounds of blood work). And while we knew winter would be hard – it always is even in years where global pandemics aren’t at play – I didn’t expect to feel such seasonal blues. I’m working out and I’m going to bed early and I’m being gentle with myself on days where I just can-not. But it still is hard to have the long, cold days stretch in front of us week after week.
I know I’ll feel better when the weather warms up and the blooms start to peek out. Last year I felt that deeply as the pandemic was just starting. I would go for long walks around my neighborhood and feel Spring coming in my bones and in the wind and it was lovely. I cherished it more than ever. But until then – I’ve been struggling. My sleep is fragmented which makes me feel like I’m dragging by 3pm and then it’s biding time until bed most days. I try to keep busy with virtual plans but it’s hard to find them as exciting these days. (And I remain frustrated by so much of the bad, senselessness and careless behavior I see people sharing on social media these days. The selfishness still has me shaking my head).
My apartment feels lonley and I miss sharing meals with people, having people over and having days spill out in front of me where plans come together unexpectedly and you get home at the end of the day tired from so much walking and so much smiling and you’re just happy and in love with New York.
I like to keep this a positive place so often I don’t share the down days as they happen but just know that if you’ve been feeling this way – you’re not alone. I am very much right there with you.
Goodthreads Sherpa Jacket (S; c/o) // Abercrombie Jeans (28; c/o) // The Striped Sheep Tee (M; c/o) // Marc Fisher Boots // Everlane Beanie (old)
p.s. budget-friendly loungewear and all my favorite coats.
Thank goodness for your cocktail hour on IG! I hope to see more in 2021 so that it’s like we’re all together. Maybe you can do a live and invite a follower to do one with you as if you’re “together”. Just a thought to keep it social and fun!
Loving the coat and boots you’re wearing!!
Love hearing you’re down for a live Let’s Make a DrinK! Definitely want to do this again soon!
Right there with you too girl. It’s so hard. We will get through this!
Grateful for friends like you, Carrie!!
Thanks for the honesty, Meghan, and I hope that warm weather comes early this year so that you are able to get out of your apartment and enjoy it! I know it won’t solve everything but I agree that good weather is such a mood booster. I’m hoping and praying that vaccines start becoming available to younger demographics so that normalcy is not a far distant thing on the horizon but tangible and within reach. Here’s to warmer and brighter days ahead.
Totally! I really can’t wait for Spring! Thank you very much for the well wishes + thoughtful comment.
Thank you for your post today. Feeling exactly the same way. Hard to watch so many people traveling. Counting the days till warmer weather and more time outside.
cosign everything you said, Rory!
Meghan: I am sending you big hugs, smiles & laughter! I live in Minnesota & we woke up to 6 to 8 inches of snow yesterday! I live alone & have thyroid issues too so I understand what you wrote. I applaud you for sharing. I do not find it negative in the least. I think you wrote about what many of us are feeling in a positive way. I am an introvert that has been socialized to be an extrovert. I need both introvert & extrovert activities to stay balanced. I love being at home, putzing, reading, cooking, watching movies, knitting, etc. But, it’s been a good year now of no art exhibits, movies in theaters, plays, concerts, entertaining people, etc. – ugh! Vitamin D really helps me – mega-doses, actually. Go slow, take naps, get outside, drink lots of water & write!! You are helping people through this pandemic & political upheaval more than you know, Meghan!
Judy you’re the best! This is such a sweet comment! Thank you for it!
I appreciate you sharing your feelings. It’s rough dealing with everything and we’re all going to hit that wall sometime, maybe even more than once or twice since this is dragging on. It helps to know others may be feeling the same way and that we’re not alone. Things will improve, spring is on its way and we will gather again with friends and family. Take care.
Thank you so very much, Mary!
Sending you a virtual hug, Meghan! Winter has been hard for this semi-extrovert as well; I’m not working during the pandemic and am an empty nester, so my days have been very empty of purpose and I’m forcing myself to get off the couch every morning. My friends and I decided we need something to look forward to, so we bought tickets to the immersive Van Gogh experience in NYC this August, hoping we will all be vaccinated by then and able to visit, but knowing full well we may end up losing the tickets. We just really need something to get excited about. And after two years of struggling to find a good volunteer “fit” in my community, I stumbled onto the perfect service opportunity for me through a connection I made on the National Day of Service this year! So now I feel excited about having a purpose again 🙂 Here’s hoping you get a sunshiny warm day soon so you can meet up with friends!
I bought tickets for that, too! Nice to have something to look forward to on my wide open calendar! Thank you so much for sharing this honest but inspirational comment, Deanna!
I feel this!! The DC cherry blossom prediction is giving me life. 🙂 Love you!
Such a good thing to look forward to!
Thank you for sharing. I live in Long Beach, CA and the weather has been mid seventies and sunny. K-5 schools are opening March 29th along side many other activities. I have felt confused on how to feel with all the change. I have been used to the pandemic (not accepting) and living a certain way. I feel uneasy about how to feel with things opening and yet this is what I have been waiting for. California and NY sound like they are in two different places as of now. I am happy you shared your feelings though. I tend to feel alone with my uncertainty. Not many people talk about it. So thank you. I hope you feel better in all ways very very soon.
Thanks so much, Christina – the uncertainty remains so hard!
I’ve been thinking about this post all day. You’ve been such a bright light for me over the past year it makes me sad to think about you struggling. I will say that I don’t think this pandemic means a permanent lockdown. There are things you can do, people you can see and places to go. You just need to think it through and talk it through with the people you feel safe with. And then I read this! https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-best-ways-to-drive-across-country-11612298638?mod=e2fb&fbclid=IwAR07sigPS_w_gwwduyvrCWzw39wL_n8pTDGLo6ExPx1Adu9NQHRMkZ5MCs0_aem_ASYY7jlu6IJGtcf8YsYC7-aELlsRH9OzDXUQcG4-qJjcrFmFn1jPXOCM3zKwgCSdBCGvw1v5-ouFhqEmuBGV7Q4i2G_Dc0iwK7wqLQUzR4t21A
Hope it helps! And please know we are all with you!
Thanks so much, Bridget!
I’ve been feeling extra slumpy too. And I hate to say – a little resentful of everyone traveling (though I know many are able to do it safely)… Sending positive vibes your way!
I totally feel the same, Katie!
Thank you for your post Meghan.
I am sorry to hear about this overwhelmed and sad period for you. I feel the same and I hope this is going to be better when the weather will warm up.
In any event, you are not alone in this. Sending positive vibe 🙂
Thank you so very much, Beatrice!
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and sincerity. This is one of the million reasons I adore you and Wit & Whimsy. This has been such an incredibly unnerving time! Uncertainty, Loneliness. Anxiety about the future. It’s all here and has definitely been taking up a lot of space in my mind as well. Give yourself grace, brighter days are around the corner! Sending you all the hugs!
Thank you so much, Martha!!!
Hi love… Just seeing this post. So sorry you’ve been down — you’re definitely not alone.
Have you tried SAD lamp for Seasonal Affective Disorder? They are shockingly effective and cheap. Lots on Amazon.
I have this one:
Even though we’re lucky to have so much sun in Palm Springs, the sun sets so early behind the mountain here (3:30 in the winter) and I find it really helps. Hope it might help you too!
And also, as you know the thyroid stuff when off has can cause basically the same symptoms as depression & anxiety, so great that you’re getting it figured out. Big hugs.
Aw thank you so much, Kell! I actually just started using one at the rec of my doctor! You’re so sweet to reach out xx